A change of heart.

Hi!

It has been a good long while since I posted, and the truth of the matter is that I just didn't have much to say. It's not that things haven't been happening, or that we don't have news to share, I've just been going through one of those times in life where I am so busy taking in everything. Learning, reading, being silent and trying to catch this crazy learning curve.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately and this quote sums up the reason why:

"To move from feelings of desperation to delight requires that the eyes of your heart and the attitude that you express be ones that exemplify God's own heart and attitudes. We must come to accept and agree with scripture that 'children are a gift from the Lord', and that 'the fruit of the womb is a reward'. (Psalm 127:3). We must fit our heart to agree with God's heart." SM Hoover

I've began realizing in stages right around the time that Gioia was 3 weeks old till recently, that my heart wasn't quite as adjusted as it should be. My head could quote it all, but my heart was tired, frustrated, angry, and alone. I have never felt so alone ever. Nate has been such an amazing source of strength, comfort and help. But truthfully, he was trying to work two jobs, finish his Ph.D, do an international job market, and find a new job for the this fall. The man can only be so many things at so many times.

Gioia is an angel baby. When we were in the US we bought The Baby Whisperer and love it or hate it, it saved our lives. ;-) She started sleeping through the night at 3 months. She sleeps wonderfully. She eats anything. She plays happily all by herself. I look at my child and I think that we just can't do any better. I wanted a child like my husband and I got exactly what I asked for. The problem isn't Gioia, the problem is my heart. This has been a huge period of adjustment for me, and I didn't take the time to really understand or appreciate just how important it all really was.  It's amazing how much preparation we did for marriage and how next to nil we did for parenting.

So for the past month or so I have been absorbing myself in books on being a mom, in an attempt to find inspiration, guidance, and hope. And a change in thinking. It's amazing how quickly my mind believes lies about myself, our children, and our family. I'm barely scratching the surface. But I'm finding a nice oasis, after many months of struggling.

A few books that I have been reading are:
Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle (for comedic relief)
Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae Hoover and Sally Clarkson
Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney
Spirit-led Parenting by Megan Tietz and Laura Oyer
A Mom After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George

And so I have been absorbing like a sponge...and I would love more ideas for books if you have any suggestions. I will say one of the things I am looking forward to most about Frankfurt is the mommy and women's studies at the local church we will be attending (in English!!). Oh, my heart misses the fellowship and the input so very much.

Speaking of Frankfurt, we will be moving in mid-August. We have found a home, a church, and Nate has signed his contract (Professor Vellekoop =) I'm just a little proud.)

A picture of our home We are renting the bottom floor. We were blessed to find a home within walking distance of everything (including church) for me, and close to the train for Nate who will have a 30 min commute from door to door:

Nate's new university:

And can I just say that Frankfurt has great shopping, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, multiple Indian restaurants and more. My little heart just can't contain the excitement.

The best news of all is baby #2, who came along just as my heart was beginning to absorb the truth of the blessings of children. And we are so very thankful. We had hoped our children would be close together and they will be, if all goes well.

And finally, Nate should be graduating in September with his Ph.D! And all people everywhere said, Amen!

We love you all. <3

We didn't start out tired...

So...three months later, I don't have quite the time as of yet to write a real update, but here's a little poem for now...as I unpack from our month long stay in CA and try to get a baby, husband, and myself healthy and over jet lag. We had a safe, uneventful flight over (with the exception of Gioia blowing out her diaper before we left San Francisco, and her extra clothes being in the extra bag we had to check in...*sigh*)  Nate and I are both trying to recover from a cold and the stomach flu. Gioia is doing wonderful and just spent the last two days with her aunty and uncle. We keep praying she stays healthy, and we keep trying to process the past three months. We have been having nightmares about the hospital trip for the past few nights, so pray that our hearts will calm down and we can not be quite as anxious, especially about Gioia.

In honor of our graduation to parenthood, Nate and I picked up a copy of Baby Blues comic book. It spans the two decades of the comics. We died laughing in Barnes and Noble and thought we had to have it to read at those 3 AM feedings. One of my favortives so far in the book is a poem they wrote adapted from Bily Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"

"We Didn't Start Out Tired"

Baby powder, baby oil
Rubber nipples on the boil.
Pacifier, vaporizer
Doctor Spock is back!

Changing table, cotton diapers
Pampers, Huggies, baby wipers
Midnight feedings, sunrise greetings
Are we having fun?

Bassinet, layette
Mastercard just had a fit.
Breastfeeding, baby gnaws
Tender nipples, nursing bras.

Soft spot, cradle cap
Cranky kid, I need a nap!
Housecleaning, interruptions!
Never gonna get done!

We didn't start out tired.
But we think that maybe
We can blame the baby.

We didn't start out tired.
It seems diabolic
But it's probably colic.

Tiny fingers, little toes,
Diaper rash and runny nose.
Baby's shrieking, milk is leaking.
Figure is shot!

Playpen in the den,
Baby's sleeping, Amen!
Phone rings, bell dings,
It must be a plot.

Colic, mylicon,
Where the heck is Brazelton?
Camomile, Fennel tea,
Double Scotch for you and me.

White noise, take a ride,
Vacuum cleaner, all tried!
Zombie eyes, lullabies,
Singing till we're cross-eyed!

We didn't start out tired,
But we think that maybe
We can blame the baby.

We didn't start out tired.
But for this little one
Our love goes on and on,
and on...

Photo courtesy of Tia. =)

Reminding Myself

Just a warning. This post may be long, but it's also deeply personal, and says many things that have been on and close to my heart the last few days.

Following my last blog post, Nate and I left for six days to go down to the University that he works at. On Friday his office mate was graduating and Nate was a part of the ceremony. From Monday-Wednesday, Nate needed to be there for presentations relating to the upcoming job market he will be attending, and on Wednesday he was lecturing all day. We decided to make a little get away out of it all for us, and it was. Friday we partied heartily, Saturday and Sunday Nate worked on his presentations and we slipped in some meals and walks and relaxation. It was nice to get away to a place with no Internet, and for me, no cooking for six days! ;-) We figured this was going to be the last time we got away just the two of us before she comes. A little mix of business with pleasure, but it was really enjoyable!

The graduate in the middle! Yay, Patrick!

Nate serenading me on a study break in Tilburg.

The ironic discovery we made was that once we arrived in Tilburg, my itching stopped. I have been battling a hives like rash over my body since the beginning of August and was recently diagnosed with PUPPPS, a condition that is rare, but related to pregnancy hormones, so we thought it was a little odd that my hormones would be out of commission just because we left home. lol. It was a blissful break but I was wondering and curious as we made our way back home if it was going to start back up again once we arrived in Zoetermeer. Maybe I'm allergic to home?! ;-)

We got back Wednesday night, and as I was laying on our bed checking on emails and such, all of the sudden I felt something crawling near me, and look down to see at least three little bugs crawling on our bed. I called Nate to come have a look, but I knew. I had researched them at the beginning of August because I thought, maybe that is where my welts were coming from? But there were no signs of them. But all of the sudden, they were EVERYWHERE. Bedbugs.

I can't even fully describe to you the emotions and thoughts that have been going on since last Wednesday. The initial horror, the relief that we know what is actually causing the itching, the fear of a greater infestation then our bedroom alone, the stress and anxiety cause baby girl comes in less than 30 days, not to mention the to do list for Nate's thesis, and we have a bug problem. What do we do? How do we even begin to get rid of them? What if they've spread? How do we know if they are gone? Do I really have to wash ALL our clothes and bedding, and mattresses, and...will I ever be able to comfortably SLEEP on my mattress and bed knowing what was crawling all over it?! Needless to say, the stress and the confusion was high, and the tears were many, as we were forced to our living room; Nate on the floor and I on the couch. Hoping they didn't follow us there.  Every spot on the floor or the wall became a possibility: is it? Is it not? We have to check it out!

For me the frustration was huge. This was my home. My room was my spot. To read, to relax. My home was my safe place, away from the confusing things that I don't understand, and the incoming cold weather. We have a baby coming! What if they don't leave before she gets here? I don't have time to deal with this! And I felt so helpless. Who do we call? Where do we begin? Does Nate have to be one to deal with all of this simply because I can't understand/communicate with the right people? Why does he always have to do everything? He has enough to do right now, he doesn't need this. What kind of wife am I if I can't even help my husband?

By Friday it all came to a head as our frustration mounted. I finally cried it all out, and we started to make a plan instead of just being frustrated at the situation and each other. Thursday we had contacted our apartment manager, and were told it wasn't their problem we needed to call the townhall. Friday, I went to my in-laws and I started making calls to the municipality, and thankfully they sent someone over that day. And the process began. Everything has to be washed at 120 degrees F. So all the clothes came down. Eleven garbage bags of clothes. Colonies of bugs were found on the bed. Nate and I restricted ourselves to the kitchen as the house was sprayed, and then we had to leave for awhile to let things settle. We dreaded going back to see the aftermath, but when we did, we slowly started to feel just a little bit more in control of the situation instead of prisoners in our living room hiding from bugs.

Saturday we had to make the decision to get rid of the bed. The mattresses were salvageable but I knew I could never sleep on that bed again. I have no idea when we will be moving back into our room. Probably not for a week or two as the poison does it's thing and we wait and see if we need to call our guy back for more spraying. In the meantime, I have laundry (!) and we have mattresses and that's good enough for now. Who knows when we can replace the bed, but we figure we are no worse off than when we got here, right?! lol.

On Saturday, I tried to sit down and process it all out in my journal, and I thought I would share them with you. Don't be fooled by the cheeriness.This has been frustrating. On both of us. But we have learned some things and that is always the goal right? So here goes (I've been reading through the Psalms and the passage for the day was 139; everything else sprung from there. Translation is the Message):

 "I look behind me and You’re there,
    then up ahead and You’re there, too—
    Your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!" Psalm 139

"We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Job 2


“I’ll make up for the years of the locust,
    the great locust devastation" Joel 2


"Remember every road that God led you on for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that He would know what you were made of, whether you would keep His commandments or not. He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don’t live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God’s mouth. Your clothes didn’t wear out and your feet didn’t blister those forty years. You learned deep in your heart that God disciplines you in the same ways a father disciplines his child....Make sure you don’t forget God, your God, by not keeping his commandments, his rules and regulations that I command you today. Make sure that when you eat and are satisfied, build pleasant houses and settle in, see your herds and flocks flourish and more and more money come in, watch your standard of living going up and up—make sure you don’t become so full of yourself and your things that you forget God, your God,

the God who delivered you from Egyptian slavery;
the God who led you through that huge and fearsome wilderness,
those desolate, arid badlands crawling with fiery snakes and scorpions;
the God who gave you water gushing from hard rock;
the God who gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never heard of, in order to give you a taste of the hard life, to test you so that you would be prepared to live well in the days ahead of you." Deuteronomy 8

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4

Thoughts: 

~ God's presence is always with us. Behind us, before us, and now. He never leaves us. We are not abandoned. 

~ God desires to give us life. Inside and out. 

~ God is faithful even when we are not. Those 40 years of wandering were the result of their own sin of unbelief. Yet God faithfully supplied each and every need that they had. 

~ God is disciplining us. Always. Not punishing. Disciplining, teaching, training. Shaping our hearts and minds toward Him. Most often through our circumstances. 

~ Goal of the training: that we will live well. 

~ Our good and bad circumstances should move us to: thankfulness, dependence, "a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for our good", prayer, Christ at the center of your lives, remembrance.

I'm thankful for these bedbugs. Not because I like them, or I like what they do. But because they are allowing me to deepen my understanding of God and who He is, so that hopefully regardless of the future, I can live well because I understand that God is always faithful, always good, and always working for our best. Good or bad times. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm still processing. When I think about it now, they seem so trivial. But in the moment, they weren't. Nate and I always tried to remind ourselves these past few days that our lives could be so much worse. And they could. We have been spared from a lot this year. Someone asked me Friday how I am dealing with all these life changes that have happened in less than a year. Marriage, move, baby, new job, the unknown. And I had a hard time putting into words how great it really has been, cause truthfully God has just been that good. Always taking care of everything we have asked. Not always in our time frame, but always answered. Everything. It's silly that bedbugs should be the thing that makes us question, why this, why now? This is bad timing!  But it was. And I want to do what Deuteronomy says I want to remember. I want to be thankful. So if anything this post is for me. But maybe it encourages you? I hope so. 

Oh, and P.S- In case you didn't hear, the health insurance came through. =)

`

Autumn

"Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life.  Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan.  Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait.  No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait.  God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me.  By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires.  Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom.  And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands" (emphasis mine).  Paul Tripp

Sit and share a cup of tea with me? I made Raspberry Leaf with some Speculaas cookies. =)

It is officially autumn here in Holland. The temps have returned to the crisp upper 50's low 60's. Today the sun is shining and the trees outside the window are just starting to change color. I love the way the light comes into our living room. It is lessens throughout the day. In the morning it is vibrant and glorious. But the sun always makes me happy. =)

I can't believe that it's October already! September seems like it was just a little blip...then gone. But a lot has been going on with us, and there is a lot more to come!

My residence permit was finally approved in September!! I had scheduled an appointment with immigration to go receive a new sticker in my passport. And when I arrived the lady looked at me and said, Oh, you were approved yesterday!" I just sat there and cried, I don't think the poor lady knew what to do with me. lol. It's amazing how different you feel once you have that little card that says you really do belong somewhere. That you are allowed to be there. It's a liberating feeling for sure. Now we have sent in our application for health insurance and we are waiting to hear back from them regarding my pregnancy.

Baby clothes!! Did I mention we were having a baby in about five weeks or so?! This past weekend I decided it was finally time to do some shopping for the baby (and me!). I guess nesting finally kicked in. I always was a little bit of a procrastinator. lol. I spent Saturday buying clothes and other little things that she will need and ordered some things online for myself. I think maybe I might have gone a little overboard...but, oh, the little clothes are just too cute! I am feeling just a little bit more ready for her arrival. =) We are frequently asked if the baby room is ready, and well, not really. lol. It's a work in progress. But baby girl has food, clothes, bedding, diapers and a bath. If she comes tomorrow, I think she'll manage. ;-)

I've been mourning the loss of pumpkin. There is simply no market for pumpkin in Holland. I had high hopes that I could find a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte...but to no avail. They have introduced them this year in: England, Ireland, France, Austria and Switzerland. But they conveniently forgot Holland. I will be writing to complain. In the meantime, we have been enjoying Chocolate Covered Kruidnoten and Speculaas. In lieu of my pumpkin craving I have supplemented with these. It really is all Nate's fault that I love these things as much, if not more now, than he does. Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice I've ever made, but a pregnant woman's gotta do what a pregnant woman's gotta do. And let me just say, that if you can find them in the States. You should. I've come to the conclusion that while I miss my pumpkin spiced cookies and such, kruidnoten isn't such a bad exchange. I'm learning to be open-minded. Kind of. =)

Keeping active. It's amazing, but being pregnant, I have never felt better in my life. I feel more healthy and strong physically then I did before. And I am so thankful for that. Of course there are the days I ask myself, why in the world did I wait till I had a five pound melon in my stomach to start doing abdominal work, but...exercise works wonders that is all that I know. The downside is that I was recently diagnosed with PUPPPS. I'm one of the lucky 1% or so of women who develop this welt and hive like rash all over their body during the third trimester of pregnancy. It doesn't hurt baby and should leave when she comes, but in the meantime, I simply ITCH. But after a near perfect pregnancy, I won't be taking the time to complain. =)

Nate has been busy working at the Statistics office three days a week, teaching for one, and working at home on day five. In the evenings he is working on lesson planning or thesis. It's a grueling pace, but I couldn't be more proud of him for all that he is getting done. All of our major deadlines for the job market and thesis are right before baby girl is supposed to arrive. There will be some major celebrations when all this is over! =)

And in the midst of all of this we are thinking and planning what is coming ahead. Nate will be sending out applications in November to several universities around the globe and hopefully starting the interviewing process in January and beyond. We have no idea if anything will come of any of it, but we are looking forward with lots of anticipation of what will happen next and trusting that as we keep moving forward, we will know exactly what to do and where to go. It can be unsettling at times, but the uncertainty has always been there. And we are learning the blessings of patience. And waiting. Cause the next thing always comes right on time. And in the process, we are changing. We are learning and growing. Learning what our priorities are, how to help one another cope, how to take one day at a time together and dream really big.

It's an exciting time for us. Keep praying. And hopefully the next blog or two will be about a little baby girl that we can't wait to meet!!

FAQ's =)

Well, hello!




It's been a busy last few weeks! We had lots of company and now that everyone has gone home, I have time to sit down and well, blog. =) I have a lot of time for many things it seems. So I thought today I would try and answer some of the most frequent questions I receive since living overseas and hopefully in some round about way give you an update on how we are doing here in Holland.  =)

But before I do can I just say that this lovely lady came to see me and we had such a great time!! We toured the canals, we shopped till my feet couldn't take it anymore, and she faithfully did my yoga and Pilate's with me. Thanks for helping me connect with my baby, Katy!!! ;-) Sadly, I never got a picture with our first set of visitors, =( but we were also so thankful that the Coopers stopped by for a few days on their way to further adventures in Europe! Their time with us was a huge encouragement and such a blessing to us. We are so thankful for the people that came to see us. <3

Question #1 How do you like living in Holland?

I like it, and I'm learning to like it. The most wonderful thing about Holland is Nate, obviously. If he wasn't here, let's face it, I wouldn't be either. ;-) There have been many things that require an adjustment in my thinking in and life style, to name a few:

Grocery Shopping:

The stores here are no where near as large as they are in the States. And the variety of products is no where near as varied. They do have some things that they don't have in the States, but in there are many times that I am looking at my recipes and having to think up a substitute for an ingredient. I am actually enjoying the process of planning and looking at recipes and cooking, but it is definitely more work than when I was home. Not to mention, that finding things in the store can be difficult, even with my husband with me. Cause let's face it, he didn't eat the stuff I'm looking for or cooking for him before he got married. ;-) But it has become a nice activity for us to do together, and I definitely appreciate my husband carrying my grocery bags for me, because, here we walk to the store and buy what we can carry. No packing your car full of grocery bags...;-)

Eating at home:

I'm pretty sure that I ate out at least once a day while I was in the States. If not more. =P But here, eating out is incredibly more expensive than buying and prepping your meals at home. So, I'm cooking a lot more. And I don't mind, I actually enjoy cooking. And I am now scouring the Internet for fun recipes ideas and oh my goodness, there is some good food out there, can I just tell you?

No car:

I have been walking, and walking, and walking some more. Hopefully that will come in handy around November. Right now my feet are just tired. ;-) But with gas at about $10 a gallon, you don't drive too much here in Holland. And public transport is so much nicer and often much more efficient, the need to drive is not so common. Right now, my brother in law has lent us his car while he is away on his honeymoon, and I've driven it....not once. You'd think I'd come up with some kind of excuse to drive it somewhere, anywhere. But even driving it to the store and back just seems like a waste. Wow. Did I just say that?!

Community:

My community has shrunk since moving overseas. But, your spouse should be your best friend, and Nate is most definitely mine. I think a huge benefit of spending our first year of marriage overseas is that I have become dependent on my husband in ways that I don't think I would have had we stayed in CA or in the States. I really do need him for so many day to day things (like grocery shopping!) and it's been a good bonding time for us. With my independent nature, I'm glad that I need him so much. So in that sense the lack of community here has been a huge blessing for us.

Question #2 Do you miss the States?

Yes and no. There is so much of a freshness of perspective and life to be gained by living overseas that I am trying to soak in as much as possible. Living in one place, especially one with as much influence as the US can tend to create a bubble, or at the least a very ethnocentric view of the world. And in that regard, I'm happy to spend some time outside of it. To learn new things, and new ways of doing things that I wouldn't otherwise. Nate and I joke sometimes that we agree more than we think we do, but we tend to look at things so differently that sometimes it seems that we disagree more often than we do. It's just different ways to approach the same things sometimes. I'm loving looking and experiencing life in a new way.

But I do miss the familiarity of things. Being able to grab a cup of coffee with someone. Getting people together and going out to eat. There so much of a social element to eating out that you miss here since it isn't so common. Knowing where to go to buy something that I need. Having people to spend time and grow with when Nate isn't here. Those things that you miss you have to learn to replace with something else, and I think now that Nate is working full time I have to start figuring that out more. And it will come, but it definitely takes a pro activeness on my part. What I am replacing it with for the time being is spending lots of time reading, which I haven't been able to do for so long. Studying on what it means to be a wife, and a mom. Inviting people over to our house. Getting ready for this baby that is coming in, oh, less than 12 weeks!! It's little, but it's something.

Question #3 How is your Dutch coming along?

Mijn Nederlands is niet so goed. I'm learning a little more every week, but English is quite common here, so the necessity to learn it is not so great. Nate and I have wondered if learning it would be helpful for me, and for now, we think, not so much. If we decide to stay longer we will be make a better effort, but for now I'm just listening and trying out what I hear. No classes for me yet. And no, Nate doesn't try to teach me Dutch. I don't try to teach him English. ;-) We leave our home as a safe zone where English is spoken and we can communicate to each other without feeling frustrated. =)


So in general, life is good. It's been a rough week for me as all the company has left and the reality of being home alone all day sets in more and more. But every time I want to feel sorry for myself I just try to start being thankful for what is there, and thinking about what to do next. It's amazing how the ideas come, and the sadness lifts, and you find that the day is over.

Of course if I really need a laugh I head over to the blog: stuffdutchpeoplelike.com  And you should too, if you want a little flavor of Dutch culture and nuances that are elaborated on way more eloquently than I ever could. ;-) My personal favorite is the one on cows since Nate and I have argued about that one since, well we meet. Our poor child.

Summer Time

So much has happened since I last wrote! I had a couple of blogs written since then but never posted them. Pregnancy really does take a toll on your brain. *sigh*

But the truth is we have been BUSY!! A quick recap of the past couple of months:

June: We headed to Paris for 5 days. Nate was presenting at a conference there so I tagged along. We spent a couple of extra days ahead of time sightseeing together, cause let's face it, Paris is no fun by yourself. ;-) It is a beautiful city, and I was thankful for this little mini vacation for us. Plus it was our sixth month anniversary, so what better way to celebrate?! When we returned from Paris, Nate was offered a job at the Statistics office here in Holland. It is a 30 min commute on the tram from our house, and on a nice day he can ride his bike. The gave him a start date of August 1st, so that he could have a little bit more time to work solely on his thesis. At the end of the month we had our 20 week scan for baby and found out; IT'S A GIRL! We were suprised, but so excited and it was a truely a special moment watching her move around on the screen.

July: Nate worked hard on his thesis and I worked hard making sure he had cookies and candy. I also starting working hard at Pilates, Yoga and Aerobics for preggos. I will say that while the workouts can be intensive they make me feel so much better when I'm done! I was glad I had started because at my check up with the midwife, she looked at me and asked if I had thought about a yoga class, and phew, I could say I had. ;-) The Cooper's came to visit for a few days and we did a whirlwind tour of some sights in Holland. Thankfully they arrived on the three nice days of weather we had for the whole entire month, so that was a great plus! They brought the sun with them. =) Nate's birthday was at the end of the month, and we didn't get as much time to celebrate it as I would have liked, but he's promised me I can have a day to spoil him in August or Septemeber. =)

August: Nate started his job on Wednesday, and I am rediscovering myself once again as I learn how to do life in Holland without him home all day long. Katy is coming to visit today (hooray!!!) so I will have company for the next 11 days or so. Nate's brother is getting married on Monday so we are all heading down to the south part of the country near the beach. I can't wait to get some time at the water! After Katy goes home =(, I will be taking a one week course on the Hebrew language, which I am super excited for. We will see if I can learn as much Hebrew as I have Dutch. ;-)

Things we are still waiting for:

1. Residence permit. However, with Nate's additional contract we should be hearing from them soon?! If it was a "no-brainer" before, it really is now! We are hopeful.

2. Medical Insurance. I have the equivalent of a SS number now with Holland, however, because of the lack of residence permit, I still can not get health insurance. While it isn't a necessity, it is nice to have. We are simply trusting that if we need it, it will be there, like everything else.

3. Nate's thesis. It's a work in progress, and I couldn't be prouder of my husband for all the work he's been putting into it. The goal is still there to finish by the time baby is here, so keep praying for him. These papers aren't easy and the research he is doing isn't easy either. It's going to be fabulous once it's done. =)

We know that so many of you love, think and pray for us. And we can't thank you enough. We know that we have been blessed tremendously, and while there are still plenty of unknowns, we aren't worried, cause we know that it's all under control. =)

Happy August!!

P.S.- It's our 8 month anniversary. And all I can say is: I just love that man. =)

Visa Time

The weather here is finally starting to reach the upper 60's, and I couldn't be happier. It's been a quiet few weeks after the big move at the beginning of the month. We finally have a place to call our own and it is a wonderful feeling. It is a beautiful four bedroom flat. Plenty of space for Nate's office and a guest room for visitors... ;-) I take great joy in simply sitting on the couch and reading a good book, or two. =)

Baby is getting bigger every day, and we're so excited to go through each week learning about what is growing and developing. Baby can hear now so I make sure to sit close to Nate as he plays the guitar at night. Life is simple in so many ways, and I'm loving it! The bump is "barely there", but it's coming along. =)

One of my greatest discoveries this month was a fabulous bagel/coffee shop. It seems so trivial, but I told my husband that it was so nice to not only find a place that actually sells BAGELS but to find a place that I can make my own. Familiarity is something that is so lacking when you move to another place, or another culture, and it's nice to find places that you can take some "ownership" of. If that makes any sense? lol. Anyway, it was a nice Saturday breakfast date spot for us.

This coming Friday, the 25th is the big day to go apply for my residence permit. We have absolutely no idea if they will grant me one. Every phone call we make gives us different answers. Every form we read has different information. The website doesn't match the forms, etc... But we have good hopes that we can/will meet the requirements and that I can get a permit for a year. If we don't I will be heading back to the US, most likely without Nate, and we will have to wait 90 days before we can try again. Obviously the idea of being on seperate continents is a little scary and not at all appealing, so we are praying for a permit, but trusting that all things will work out for the good our little family regardless. 

"All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."  ~ A.V.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18