Reminding Myself

Just a warning. This post may be long, but it's also deeply personal, and says many things that have been on and close to my heart the last few days.

Following my last blog post, Nate and I left for six days to go down to the University that he works at. On Friday his office mate was graduating and Nate was a part of the ceremony. From Monday-Wednesday, Nate needed to be there for presentations relating to the upcoming job market he will be attending, and on Wednesday he was lecturing all day. We decided to make a little get away out of it all for us, and it was. Friday we partied heartily, Saturday and Sunday Nate worked on his presentations and we slipped in some meals and walks and relaxation. It was nice to get away to a place with no Internet, and for me, no cooking for six days! ;-) We figured this was going to be the last time we got away just the two of us before she comes. A little mix of business with pleasure, but it was really enjoyable!

The graduate in the middle! Yay, Patrick!

Nate serenading me on a study break in Tilburg.

The ironic discovery we made was that once we arrived in Tilburg, my itching stopped. I have been battling a hives like rash over my body since the beginning of August and was recently diagnosed with PUPPPS, a condition that is rare, but related to pregnancy hormones, so we thought it was a little odd that my hormones would be out of commission just because we left home. lol. It was a blissful break but I was wondering and curious as we made our way back home if it was going to start back up again once we arrived in Zoetermeer. Maybe I'm allergic to home?! ;-)

We got back Wednesday night, and as I was laying on our bed checking on emails and such, all of the sudden I felt something crawling near me, and look down to see at least three little bugs crawling on our bed. I called Nate to come have a look, but I knew. I had researched them at the beginning of August because I thought, maybe that is where my welts were coming from? But there were no signs of them. But all of the sudden, they were EVERYWHERE. Bedbugs.

I can't even fully describe to you the emotions and thoughts that have been going on since last Wednesday. The initial horror, the relief that we know what is actually causing the itching, the fear of a greater infestation then our bedroom alone, the stress and anxiety cause baby girl comes in less than 30 days, not to mention the to do list for Nate's thesis, and we have a bug problem. What do we do? How do we even begin to get rid of them? What if they've spread? How do we know if they are gone? Do I really have to wash ALL our clothes and bedding, and mattresses, and...will I ever be able to comfortably SLEEP on my mattress and bed knowing what was crawling all over it?! Needless to say, the stress and the confusion was high, and the tears were many, as we were forced to our living room; Nate on the floor and I on the couch. Hoping they didn't follow us there.  Every spot on the floor or the wall became a possibility: is it? Is it not? We have to check it out!

For me the frustration was huge. This was my home. My room was my spot. To read, to relax. My home was my safe place, away from the confusing things that I don't understand, and the incoming cold weather. We have a baby coming! What if they don't leave before she gets here? I don't have time to deal with this! And I felt so helpless. Who do we call? Where do we begin? Does Nate have to be one to deal with all of this simply because I can't understand/communicate with the right people? Why does he always have to do everything? He has enough to do right now, he doesn't need this. What kind of wife am I if I can't even help my husband?

By Friday it all came to a head as our frustration mounted. I finally cried it all out, and we started to make a plan instead of just being frustrated at the situation and each other. Thursday we had contacted our apartment manager, and were told it wasn't their problem we needed to call the townhall. Friday, I went to my in-laws and I started making calls to the municipality, and thankfully they sent someone over that day. And the process began. Everything has to be washed at 120 degrees F. So all the clothes came down. Eleven garbage bags of clothes. Colonies of bugs were found on the bed. Nate and I restricted ourselves to the kitchen as the house was sprayed, and then we had to leave for awhile to let things settle. We dreaded going back to see the aftermath, but when we did, we slowly started to feel just a little bit more in control of the situation instead of prisoners in our living room hiding from bugs.

Saturday we had to make the decision to get rid of the bed. The mattresses were salvageable but I knew I could never sleep on that bed again. I have no idea when we will be moving back into our room. Probably not for a week or two as the poison does it's thing and we wait and see if we need to call our guy back for more spraying. In the meantime, I have laundry (!) and we have mattresses and that's good enough for now. Who knows when we can replace the bed, but we figure we are no worse off than when we got here, right?! lol.

On Saturday, I tried to sit down and process it all out in my journal, and I thought I would share them with you. Don't be fooled by the cheeriness.This has been frustrating. On both of us. But we have learned some things and that is always the goal right? So here goes (I've been reading through the Psalms and the passage for the day was 139; everything else sprung from there. Translation is the Message):

 "I look behind me and You’re there,
    then up ahead and You’re there, too—
    Your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!" Psalm 139

"We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Job 2


“I’ll make up for the years of the locust,
    the great locust devastation" Joel 2


"Remember every road that God led you on for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that He would know what you were made of, whether you would keep His commandments or not. He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna, something neither you nor your parents knew anything about, so you would learn that men and women don’t live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God’s mouth. Your clothes didn’t wear out and your feet didn’t blister those forty years. You learned deep in your heart that God disciplines you in the same ways a father disciplines his child....Make sure you don’t forget God, your God, by not keeping his commandments, his rules and regulations that I command you today. Make sure that when you eat and are satisfied, build pleasant houses and settle in, see your herds and flocks flourish and more and more money come in, watch your standard of living going up and up—make sure you don’t become so full of yourself and your things that you forget God, your God,

the God who delivered you from Egyptian slavery;
the God who led you through that huge and fearsome wilderness,
those desolate, arid badlands crawling with fiery snakes and scorpions;
the God who gave you water gushing from hard rock;
the God who gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never heard of, in order to give you a taste of the hard life, to test you so that you would be prepared to live well in the days ahead of you." Deuteronomy 8

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4

Thoughts: 

~ God's presence is always with us. Behind us, before us, and now. He never leaves us. We are not abandoned. 

~ God desires to give us life. Inside and out. 

~ God is faithful even when we are not. Those 40 years of wandering were the result of their own sin of unbelief. Yet God faithfully supplied each and every need that they had. 

~ God is disciplining us. Always. Not punishing. Disciplining, teaching, training. Shaping our hearts and minds toward Him. Most often through our circumstances. 

~ Goal of the training: that we will live well. 

~ Our good and bad circumstances should move us to: thankfulness, dependence, "a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for our good", prayer, Christ at the center of your lives, remembrance.

I'm thankful for these bedbugs. Not because I like them, or I like what they do. But because they are allowing me to deepen my understanding of God and who He is, so that hopefully regardless of the future, I can live well because I understand that God is always faithful, always good, and always working for our best. Good or bad times. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm still processing. When I think about it now, they seem so trivial. But in the moment, they weren't. Nate and I always tried to remind ourselves these past few days that our lives could be so much worse. And they could. We have been spared from a lot this year. Someone asked me Friday how I am dealing with all these life changes that have happened in less than a year. Marriage, move, baby, new job, the unknown. And I had a hard time putting into words how great it really has been, cause truthfully God has just been that good. Always taking care of everything we have asked. Not always in our time frame, but always answered. Everything. It's silly that bedbugs should be the thing that makes us question, why this, why now? This is bad timing!  But it was. And I want to do what Deuteronomy says I want to remember. I want to be thankful. So if anything this post is for me. But maybe it encourages you? I hope so. 

Oh, and P.S- In case you didn't hear, the health insurance came through. =)

`

Autumn

"Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life.  Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan.  Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait.  No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait.  God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me.  By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires.  Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom.  And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands" (emphasis mine).  Paul Tripp

Sit and share a cup of tea with me? I made Raspberry Leaf with some Speculaas cookies. =)

It is officially autumn here in Holland. The temps have returned to the crisp upper 50's low 60's. Today the sun is shining and the trees outside the window are just starting to change color. I love the way the light comes into our living room. It is lessens throughout the day. In the morning it is vibrant and glorious. But the sun always makes me happy. =)

I can't believe that it's October already! September seems like it was just a little blip...then gone. But a lot has been going on with us, and there is a lot more to come!

My residence permit was finally approved in September!! I had scheduled an appointment with immigration to go receive a new sticker in my passport. And when I arrived the lady looked at me and said, Oh, you were approved yesterday!" I just sat there and cried, I don't think the poor lady knew what to do with me. lol. It's amazing how different you feel once you have that little card that says you really do belong somewhere. That you are allowed to be there. It's a liberating feeling for sure. Now we have sent in our application for health insurance and we are waiting to hear back from them regarding my pregnancy.

Baby clothes!! Did I mention we were having a baby in about five weeks or so?! This past weekend I decided it was finally time to do some shopping for the baby (and me!). I guess nesting finally kicked in. I always was a little bit of a procrastinator. lol. I spent Saturday buying clothes and other little things that she will need and ordered some things online for myself. I think maybe I might have gone a little overboard...but, oh, the little clothes are just too cute! I am feeling just a little bit more ready for her arrival. =) We are frequently asked if the baby room is ready, and well, not really. lol. It's a work in progress. But baby girl has food, clothes, bedding, diapers and a bath. If she comes tomorrow, I think she'll manage. ;-)

I've been mourning the loss of pumpkin. There is simply no market for pumpkin in Holland. I had high hopes that I could find a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte...but to no avail. They have introduced them this year in: England, Ireland, France, Austria and Switzerland. But they conveniently forgot Holland. I will be writing to complain. In the meantime, we have been enjoying Chocolate Covered Kruidnoten and Speculaas. In lieu of my pumpkin craving I have supplemented with these. It really is all Nate's fault that I love these things as much, if not more now, than he does. Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice I've ever made, but a pregnant woman's gotta do what a pregnant woman's gotta do. And let me just say, that if you can find them in the States. You should. I've come to the conclusion that while I miss my pumpkin spiced cookies and such, kruidnoten isn't such a bad exchange. I'm learning to be open-minded. Kind of. =)

Keeping active. It's amazing, but being pregnant, I have never felt better in my life. I feel more healthy and strong physically then I did before. And I am so thankful for that. Of course there are the days I ask myself, why in the world did I wait till I had a five pound melon in my stomach to start doing abdominal work, but...exercise works wonders that is all that I know. The downside is that I was recently diagnosed with PUPPPS. I'm one of the lucky 1% or so of women who develop this welt and hive like rash all over their body during the third trimester of pregnancy. It doesn't hurt baby and should leave when she comes, but in the meantime, I simply ITCH. But after a near perfect pregnancy, I won't be taking the time to complain. =)

Nate has been busy working at the Statistics office three days a week, teaching for one, and working at home on day five. In the evenings he is working on lesson planning or thesis. It's a grueling pace, but I couldn't be more proud of him for all that he is getting done. All of our major deadlines for the job market and thesis are right before baby girl is supposed to arrive. There will be some major celebrations when all this is over! =)

And in the midst of all of this we are thinking and planning what is coming ahead. Nate will be sending out applications in November to several universities around the globe and hopefully starting the interviewing process in January and beyond. We have no idea if anything will come of any of it, but we are looking forward with lots of anticipation of what will happen next and trusting that as we keep moving forward, we will know exactly what to do and where to go. It can be unsettling at times, but the uncertainty has always been there. And we are learning the blessings of patience. And waiting. Cause the next thing always comes right on time. And in the process, we are changing. We are learning and growing. Learning what our priorities are, how to help one another cope, how to take one day at a time together and dream really big.

It's an exciting time for us. Keep praying. And hopefully the next blog or two will be about a little baby girl that we can't wait to meet!!

FAQ's =)

Well, hello!




It's been a busy last few weeks! We had lots of company and now that everyone has gone home, I have time to sit down and well, blog. =) I have a lot of time for many things it seems. So I thought today I would try and answer some of the most frequent questions I receive since living overseas and hopefully in some round about way give you an update on how we are doing here in Holland.  =)

But before I do can I just say that this lovely lady came to see me and we had such a great time!! We toured the canals, we shopped till my feet couldn't take it anymore, and she faithfully did my yoga and Pilate's with me. Thanks for helping me connect with my baby, Katy!!! ;-) Sadly, I never got a picture with our first set of visitors, =( but we were also so thankful that the Coopers stopped by for a few days on their way to further adventures in Europe! Their time with us was a huge encouragement and such a blessing to us. We are so thankful for the people that came to see us. <3

Question #1 How do you like living in Holland?

I like it, and I'm learning to like it. The most wonderful thing about Holland is Nate, obviously. If he wasn't here, let's face it, I wouldn't be either. ;-) There have been many things that require an adjustment in my thinking in and life style, to name a few:

Grocery Shopping:

The stores here are no where near as large as they are in the States. And the variety of products is no where near as varied. They do have some things that they don't have in the States, but in there are many times that I am looking at my recipes and having to think up a substitute for an ingredient. I am actually enjoying the process of planning and looking at recipes and cooking, but it is definitely more work than when I was home. Not to mention, that finding things in the store can be difficult, even with my husband with me. Cause let's face it, he didn't eat the stuff I'm looking for or cooking for him before he got married. ;-) But it has become a nice activity for us to do together, and I definitely appreciate my husband carrying my grocery bags for me, because, here we walk to the store and buy what we can carry. No packing your car full of grocery bags...;-)

Eating at home:

I'm pretty sure that I ate out at least once a day while I was in the States. If not more. =P But here, eating out is incredibly more expensive than buying and prepping your meals at home. So, I'm cooking a lot more. And I don't mind, I actually enjoy cooking. And I am now scouring the Internet for fun recipes ideas and oh my goodness, there is some good food out there, can I just tell you?

No car:

I have been walking, and walking, and walking some more. Hopefully that will come in handy around November. Right now my feet are just tired. ;-) But with gas at about $10 a gallon, you don't drive too much here in Holland. And public transport is so much nicer and often much more efficient, the need to drive is not so common. Right now, my brother in law has lent us his car while he is away on his honeymoon, and I've driven it....not once. You'd think I'd come up with some kind of excuse to drive it somewhere, anywhere. But even driving it to the store and back just seems like a waste. Wow. Did I just say that?!

Community:

My community has shrunk since moving overseas. But, your spouse should be your best friend, and Nate is most definitely mine. I think a huge benefit of spending our first year of marriage overseas is that I have become dependent on my husband in ways that I don't think I would have had we stayed in CA or in the States. I really do need him for so many day to day things (like grocery shopping!) and it's been a good bonding time for us. With my independent nature, I'm glad that I need him so much. So in that sense the lack of community here has been a huge blessing for us.

Question #2 Do you miss the States?

Yes and no. There is so much of a freshness of perspective and life to be gained by living overseas that I am trying to soak in as much as possible. Living in one place, especially one with as much influence as the US can tend to create a bubble, or at the least a very ethnocentric view of the world. And in that regard, I'm happy to spend some time outside of it. To learn new things, and new ways of doing things that I wouldn't otherwise. Nate and I joke sometimes that we agree more than we think we do, but we tend to look at things so differently that sometimes it seems that we disagree more often than we do. It's just different ways to approach the same things sometimes. I'm loving looking and experiencing life in a new way.

But I do miss the familiarity of things. Being able to grab a cup of coffee with someone. Getting people together and going out to eat. There so much of a social element to eating out that you miss here since it isn't so common. Knowing where to go to buy something that I need. Having people to spend time and grow with when Nate isn't here. Those things that you miss you have to learn to replace with something else, and I think now that Nate is working full time I have to start figuring that out more. And it will come, but it definitely takes a pro activeness on my part. What I am replacing it with for the time being is spending lots of time reading, which I haven't been able to do for so long. Studying on what it means to be a wife, and a mom. Inviting people over to our house. Getting ready for this baby that is coming in, oh, less than 12 weeks!! It's little, but it's something.

Question #3 How is your Dutch coming along?

Mijn Nederlands is niet so goed. I'm learning a little more every week, but English is quite common here, so the necessity to learn it is not so great. Nate and I have wondered if learning it would be helpful for me, and for now, we think, not so much. If we decide to stay longer we will be make a better effort, but for now I'm just listening and trying out what I hear. No classes for me yet. And no, Nate doesn't try to teach me Dutch. I don't try to teach him English. ;-) We leave our home as a safe zone where English is spoken and we can communicate to each other without feeling frustrated. =)


So in general, life is good. It's been a rough week for me as all the company has left and the reality of being home alone all day sets in more and more. But every time I want to feel sorry for myself I just try to start being thankful for what is there, and thinking about what to do next. It's amazing how the ideas come, and the sadness lifts, and you find that the day is over.

Of course if I really need a laugh I head over to the blog: stuffdutchpeoplelike.com  And you should too, if you want a little flavor of Dutch culture and nuances that are elaborated on way more eloquently than I ever could. ;-) My personal favorite is the one on cows since Nate and I have argued about that one since, well we meet. Our poor child.

Summer Time

So much has happened since I last wrote! I had a couple of blogs written since then but never posted them. Pregnancy really does take a toll on your brain. *sigh*

But the truth is we have been BUSY!! A quick recap of the past couple of months:

June: We headed to Paris for 5 days. Nate was presenting at a conference there so I tagged along. We spent a couple of extra days ahead of time sightseeing together, cause let's face it, Paris is no fun by yourself. ;-) It is a beautiful city, and I was thankful for this little mini vacation for us. Plus it was our sixth month anniversary, so what better way to celebrate?! When we returned from Paris, Nate was offered a job at the Statistics office here in Holland. It is a 30 min commute on the tram from our house, and on a nice day he can ride his bike. The gave him a start date of August 1st, so that he could have a little bit more time to work solely on his thesis. At the end of the month we had our 20 week scan for baby and found out; IT'S A GIRL! We were suprised, but so excited and it was a truely a special moment watching her move around on the screen.

July: Nate worked hard on his thesis and I worked hard making sure he had cookies and candy. I also starting working hard at Pilates, Yoga and Aerobics for preggos. I will say that while the workouts can be intensive they make me feel so much better when I'm done! I was glad I had started because at my check up with the midwife, she looked at me and asked if I had thought about a yoga class, and phew, I could say I had. ;-) The Cooper's came to visit for a few days and we did a whirlwind tour of some sights in Holland. Thankfully they arrived on the three nice days of weather we had for the whole entire month, so that was a great plus! They brought the sun with them. =) Nate's birthday was at the end of the month, and we didn't get as much time to celebrate it as I would have liked, but he's promised me I can have a day to spoil him in August or Septemeber. =)

August: Nate started his job on Wednesday, and I am rediscovering myself once again as I learn how to do life in Holland without him home all day long. Katy is coming to visit today (hooray!!!) so I will have company for the next 11 days or so. Nate's brother is getting married on Monday so we are all heading down to the south part of the country near the beach. I can't wait to get some time at the water! After Katy goes home =(, I will be taking a one week course on the Hebrew language, which I am super excited for. We will see if I can learn as much Hebrew as I have Dutch. ;-)

Things we are still waiting for:

1. Residence permit. However, with Nate's additional contract we should be hearing from them soon?! If it was a "no-brainer" before, it really is now! We are hopeful.

2. Medical Insurance. I have the equivalent of a SS number now with Holland, however, because of the lack of residence permit, I still can not get health insurance. While it isn't a necessity, it is nice to have. We are simply trusting that if we need it, it will be there, like everything else.

3. Nate's thesis. It's a work in progress, and I couldn't be prouder of my husband for all the work he's been putting into it. The goal is still there to finish by the time baby is here, so keep praying for him. These papers aren't easy and the research he is doing isn't easy either. It's going to be fabulous once it's done. =)

We know that so many of you love, think and pray for us. And we can't thank you enough. We know that we have been blessed tremendously, and while there are still plenty of unknowns, we aren't worried, cause we know that it's all under control. =)

Happy August!!

P.S.- It's our 8 month anniversary. And all I can say is: I just love that man. =)

Visa Time

The weather here is finally starting to reach the upper 60's, and I couldn't be happier. It's been a quiet few weeks after the big move at the beginning of the month. We finally have a place to call our own and it is a wonderful feeling. It is a beautiful four bedroom flat. Plenty of space for Nate's office and a guest room for visitors... ;-) I take great joy in simply sitting on the couch and reading a good book, or two. =)

Baby is getting bigger every day, and we're so excited to go through each week learning about what is growing and developing. Baby can hear now so I make sure to sit close to Nate as he plays the guitar at night. Life is simple in so many ways, and I'm loving it! The bump is "barely there", but it's coming along. =)

One of my greatest discoveries this month was a fabulous bagel/coffee shop. It seems so trivial, but I told my husband that it was so nice to not only find a place that actually sells BAGELS but to find a place that I can make my own. Familiarity is something that is so lacking when you move to another place, or another culture, and it's nice to find places that you can take some "ownership" of. If that makes any sense? lol. Anyway, it was a nice Saturday breakfast date spot for us.

This coming Friday, the 25th is the big day to go apply for my residence permit. We have absolutely no idea if they will grant me one. Every phone call we make gives us different answers. Every form we read has different information. The website doesn't match the forms, etc... But we have good hopes that we can/will meet the requirements and that I can get a permit for a year. If we don't I will be heading back to the US, most likely without Nate, and we will have to wait 90 days before we can try again. Obviously the idea of being on seperate continents is a little scary and not at all appealing, so we are praying for a permit, but trusting that all things will work out for the good our little family regardless. 

"All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."  ~ A.V.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18

Birthday Celebrations & A Little Update

When I was 16 I had made a wish and vow: the wish was to see the tulip fields of Holland. I was obsessed with them. My parents bought be a huge coffee-table like book of tulips and all the pictures were from these amazing fields. The vow was to marry the first man who brought me tulips. The vow was more facetious, but the wish was real.

I'm happy to say that I got my wish and fulfilled my vow. I didn't really try that hard, God just has a big sense of humor. I married a man from Holland, who did in fact give me my first tulip and who took me to the tulip fields for my birthday this year. It's ok to say, awww. I cried.

The Keukenhof is a national treasure here in Holland, and it is incredible! There is a large garden type section of the park, which Nate and I spent about three hours walking around, and then there are the endless fields that you can take a canal tour through. It was truly a dream come true.

And now, for a little update on how we are doing:

Well, the biggest news is that we are expecting our first child in November. It has to be the second biggest surprise and blessing of our lives after each other. We're unbelievably happy, and I'm finally starting to feel a little more like myself. I had an incredibly easy first trimester and I can only hope and pray that the rest is as good. =)

Nate has been working part-time at the university teaching classes and tutorials. He's slowly working on his thesis, as well as applying for jobs. It has been a real blessing to have him home six days a week, even if he is in his office for most of the day, it's nice to be able to eat every meal together, and to spend so much time together.

When I haven't been cooking, or sleeping, I have been busy exploring, going to schools with my mother-in-law for bible lessons, and  trying to learn some Dutch along the way. Dutch is coming slow since we haven't been able to find some good classes for me yet, but hopefully come summer we can enroll me at one of the schools. In the meantime, I have books and lots of people to practice with.

We are currently living in an apartment in Zoetermeer close to family and church.

We are currently praying through some choices and would love for you to join us:

1) Job vs thesis: A job is necessary for two things: a residence permit and health insurance for me. However, a job would mean less time on the thesis, and in some cases we need the thesis for the jobs Nate would ideally like.The residence permit and insurance are not essential, but they obviously make life much easier. So we wait and see.

2) Residence permit vs family visa: We need to apply for one of them by the end of May. The family visa would allow me to stay till, we hope, the end of November. After which I would fly back to California with baby, and Nate will come a few weeks later.  A residence permit would allow us to get health insurance for me, and allow a longer stay so that Nate, baby and I can all come to CA for the holidays together. We can apply for the residence permit after we have already applied for a family visa, but then we pay twice, and it makes planning more difficult.

3) Where to have this baby! Home or hospital? It's fairly common still to give birth at home here, but Nate and I both feel a little more comfortable in a hospital. There are pros and cons to both, and we have some time to decide, but we need wisdom for it all. 

It's funny how in life it seems like so many things hinge on the other, and yet we are learning to trust that all things will get worked out in the right time. So we aren't worried or stressing, but just trying to walk one day at a time.

Thanks for caring about our little family. We love you all, and miss you greatly.

Woke up in the land of cheese to discover...I had no idea how to slice it!!

I wish you could have seen me on my flight over to Amsterdam. I really do. Two empty seats next to me, five pillows, three blankets, my own personal screen with tv, movie and music options--and since it was KLM, an endless food and drink supply.  I was reclining as if at home and trying to be as comfortable as possible on the 9 hour flight across the globe. It almost made up for the fact that my husband was on another flight. Almost...


Bed #1

We arrived in Amsterdam on January 26. Nate was presenting at a conference the following day so we headed over to our hotel and had a wonderful two days in the city. I ventured out a couple of times on my own and despite the rain we had a wonderful time. The city is so picturesque and charming with three major canals running throughout it. I can't wait to take my first canal tour! We left Friday and headed up North to visit an uncle and aunt of Nate. From there we headed to Voorburg, Holland Zuid

Bed #2

Nate's sister and brother in law live in a charming house in Voorburg. They graciously took us in and told us we could stay as long as we wanted. We took the upstairs room and made ourselves comfortable for a few days. We slept through all of Saturday (oops...) and survived the rest of the weekend till my family began to arrive on Tuesday mornng. It was so good to see my parents and aunt!! We took them to their place in Delft where they stayed right above a candy shop. Delft has to be my favorite city in Holland so far. It has the most adorable shops and the two kerks (churchs) are so beautifully architected, it is simply amazing. We relaxed together in Delft and took tours of the churches. We climbed to the top of the tower of the Niewe Kerk and took some pictures of the stunning view. The rest of the family arrived on Thursday just in time for the wedding on Friday.

Bed #3

Thursday night we headed over to our master of ceremonies house to stay for a few days to be close to the church we were using for the wedding. The wedding day arrived with plenty of SNOW. The day went on record as the fourth largest traffic jam the Netherlands has ever seen. Unfortunately, that meant that several of our guests outside of the immediate area couldn't make it. =( We had about 150 guests able to come though, and we were so thankful for their presence!
The day started off simple enough, a nice breakfast and a trip to the hair salon. I arrived back at the house feeling sick to my stomach and tried to eat a little for lunch but nothing was helping. Three hours before the wedding I was on the couch trying desperately to relax so that maybe I could feel better. As I watched the snow piling up I thought, how beautiful and how awful all in one breath. Our hostess offered me a glass of soda and in the process the glass broke all over the floor. Nate and I both looked at each other and thought, could the day get any worse? At that moment my stomach decided it needed to remove it's contents, NOW and the only path to the bathroom was--right through the broken glass. I didn't make it that far. I made it to the middle of the mess of glass, and proceeded to make a bigger mess.One hour till the wedding...
I felt a little bit better afterwards and decided it was time for makeup and maybe to get into my dress. We started to put the dress on and as we were lacing up the corset, I didn't feel so well again. I emptyed my stomach again, luckily missing the dress and at that point we decided that it might be best to wait on the dress.
So, we arrived at the church an hour late for a dinner with several good friends and family. But the good news is: because of the weather most people were late too, so we didn't feel so bad! As news of my sickness spread my friend who is a pharmacist came up and asked me if I wanted her to go some medicine for my stomach. We decided to try it and thankfully, it worked. Unfortuantely, I didn't get to enjoy the amazing food but I consolded myself with 7Up.
It was finally time to try the dress again, and this time we succeeded. My husband brought me my beautiful bouquet that he had made for me--tulips and roses. =) We went to the ceremony and it was a beautiful time of singing and a message from my father in law. After the service we had a nice reception with several of Nate's family and friends providing the entertainment through skits and songs for us. I lasted till 11 PM and then we had to head home. It was a crazy day, but we felt so blessed and so happy that we decided to do a celebration over here. It was so special for Nate to be able to celebrate with all his firends and family, and I had a blast meeting everyone.

Bed #4

After the wedding we moved over to the house in Delft to stay with family for the rest of their visit. Monday and Tuesday were pretty easy days. We enjoyed dinner at a Medieval restaurant in the center of town and took a visit to the COLD North Sea. Wednesday my parents had to head back home =(, and that afternoon my grandparents, my two aunts and I headed to the Ten Boom house in Haarlem. My grandparents had the privilege to meet Corrie Ten Boom years ago, so it was a very special moment for them to be able to be there and see the house. It was a pretty amazing thing for all of us, hearing her story and her remarkable faith, and the willingness of her family to hide Jews. We got to stand in the "hiding place"and after 1 miniute I was ready to be out. It was incredibly tiny, and yet it saved so many lives. The next day everyone else headed back home and it was just me and Nate.

Bed #5

On Friday we moved into our apartment that we are sharing with Nate's brother. It is in Zoetermeer, close to the Hague. We are on the 10th floor and the views are amazing. Nate has an office where he will be spending lots of time on his thesis ;-), and we finally have our own room and our own bed. We hope to be here for a few months and were we are going next, we really don't know. But when it's time to know, we will. =) We are heading to London next week to stay for 8 days in the city. We hope to be tourists and also see some friends of Nate. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the city. I'll post more pictures when we get back.

I looked at Nate the other day and said: I finally realized that it's just you and me. And for right now, it is. And it feels right. My family is gone, his family is close, but we are a family, he and I. We may not have a house (yet), or job (yet), but we have one another and that is a pretty comforting feeling. And we wake up everyday so thankful that we do have friends, and family, and food, clothes, shelter. We lack nothing in the essentials, and we are so blessed with even the non-essentials. We are happy, and we can't wait to see where we go from here.